https://rahtimes.com/books

Break Free From Financial Abuse

Breaking free from a financially abusive relationship is a challenging but empowering journey. Financial abuse often involves controlling a partner’s access to money, resources, or employment opportunities, leaving them dependent and vulnerable. Here’s a guide to help navigate and overcome this situation:

### **Recognizing Financial Abuse**
The first step is identifying the signs of financial abuse. These may include:
**Restricted Access to Money:** Your partner controls all finances, denies you access to accounts, or gives you an allowance.
**Sabotaging Employment:** Preventing you from working or interfering with your job.
**Debt Manipulation:** Forcing you to take on debt or using your credit without consent.
**Excessive Monitoring:** Closely tracking your spending or demanding receipts for every purchase.

Acknowledging the abuse is crucial to reclaiming your independence.

### **Steps to Break Free**
1. **Build Awareness and Support:**
Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a counselor. Share your situation and seek emotional support.
Contact organizations that specialize in domestic abuse—they often provide financial counseling and resources.

2. **Secure Important Documents:**
Gather personal identification, bank statements, credit reports, and any legal documents.
Store them in a safe place, such as with a trusted friend or in a secure online account.

3. **Open Your Own Accounts:**
If possible, open a separate bank account in your name. Start saving small amounts discreetly.
Apply for a credit card to build your financial independence.

4. Educate Yourself Financially:
Learn about budgeting, saving, and managing money. Many online resources and local organizations offer free financial literacy courses.
Check your credit report to understand your financial standing.

5. Create an Exit Plan:
Develop a plan to leave the relationship safely. This may include finding housing, securing employment, and arranging childcare if needed.
Work with a domestic abuse advocate to ensure your plan is thorough and safe.

6. Seek Legal Advice:
Consult a lawyer or legal aid organization to understand your rights, especially regarding shared assets or debts.
File for protective orders if necessary to ensure your safety.

### **Rebuilding Your Independence**
Once you’ve left the relationship:
**Focus on Healing:** Financial abuse often comes with emotional scars. Therapy or support groups can help you process and rebuild.
**Set Financial Goals:** Start small—create a budget, save for emergencies, and work toward long-term stability.
**Celebrate Progress:** Every step toward independence is a victory. Acknowledge your strength and resilience.

Resources for Help
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or [thehotline.org](https://www.thehotline.org)
Local Shelters and Advocacy Groups: Many offer financial assistance and counseling.
Financial Literacy Programs: Look for free workshops or online courses to strengthen your financial skills.

Breaking free from financial abuse is not easy, but it is possible. With the right support, resources, and determination, you can reclaim your independence and build a life of stability and empowerment. Remember, you are not alone—help is available, and your future is worth fighting for.

Reaching Out

She reached out—not for pity, not for a handout—but because she’d walked her path alone. In a moment of desperate need, overwhelmed by a world that offered no comfort or support, she turned to the one person she believed would care. She thought he loved her soul. She believed he knew her worth and would honor her being.

To her dismay, he met her plea with unprecedented hostility—not concern or compassion—only cold dismissal, as if her vulnerability were an intrusion he refused to tolerate.

In the stunned silence that followed, the truth emerged: He had no genuine care for her struggles or needs. Something she was very familiar with from the many she encountered in her life’s journey.
Still, his indifference crushed her spirit, came as a surprise, and revealed that any help he offered—or withheld—served only his own ease and self-importance. Cruelty was a choice, not an accident of circumstance.

She realized then that the love she trusted him to have simply wasn’t there. It was a projection born of human longing—a vision crafted in the absence of real, earthly support.

-Her Path Forward:

1. Accept the Truth Without Shame
Her need was human. Her pain was valid. The misjudgment wasn’t in asking—it was in believing someone incapable of care would respond with love.

2. Withdraw With Dignity and Clarity
She will no longer give him access to her heart or her vulnerability. No confrontation—just quiet, decisive removal of expectation.

3. Establish Clear Boundaries
She will honor her own emotional safety by cutting ties—energetically and practically. Whatever connection remains will not be fed. It ends here.

4. Rebuild Her Circle With Intention
Though she stood alone in that moment, she will not remain so. She will seek—or create—a tribe where compassion is not rationed but offered freely.

5. Practice Compassionate Self-Restoration
With journaling, rest, movement, and creativity, she will tend to the places that ache. Her self-care will become her rebellion. Her healing—her home.

6. Transmute Pain Into Purpose
She will carry the lesson, not the wound. When she tells her story—not in bitterness, but in truth—it will become a beacon for someone else still searching for support in their darkest hour.

“This ‘Reaching Out’ story serves as the inspiration—and lead-in—for the lyrics of Songs by Ruth The Loudest in the Silence.”

Echoes of Resilience: A Journey of Truth and Strength

I carry a dream within me—one where I am valued, respected, and never reduced to something insignificant. I never chose a partner as a reflection of my own self-worth; I chose someone who, in my heart, mirrored the values I hold dear.

But life is complex, and people reach moments where they long to fulfill their own dreams, not simply lose themselves in someone else’s. And so, I ask myself—why this relentless desire to serve in a particular way? Why not conform to societal thinking, making life easier and less stressful? The answer is simple: I cannot embrace untruth. I cannot live a lie. I cannot exist solely for myself.

Still, in this moment, I am weary—not from overextending myself, but perhaps from the toll my autoimmune illness takes. For now, I must allow myself the grace to heal.

With every new encounter, I uncover lessons I never would have if I clung only to comfort. I know I cannot shift the consciousness of all humanity, but I can offer messages of love and support. I can remind others to embrace the beauty of connection, to find joy in the richness of relationships.

There is wisdom waiting for those who seek it. Whoever you welcome into your life will, in turn, welcome you. So, live boldly, love deeply, and always remember—the greatest love, the one that nurtures and sustains, is the love that resides within you.

Finding Contentment Despite Economic Hardship

Understanding Trauma:

Understanding Trauma and the Fight or Flight Response

Trauma is the result of external events—abuse, violence, accidents, or prolonged distress—and the body’s response can sometimes make individuals feel isolated or powerless. This reinforces the need for effective interventions that prioritize safety, nervous system regulation, and self-compassion alongside faith.

When individuals experience trauma, their body’s stress response system is activated, triggering the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This can lead to a state of hyperarousal, commonly referred to as the “fight or flight” response. In this state, the individual may feel constantly on edge, anxious, or easily startled.

The Role of Faith in Trauma Recovery

Faith can be a valuable source of comfort and support for many people, particularly in times of crisis. However, for individuals who have been traumatized and are functioning in a flight or fight response, faith may not be as helpful as it might be for someone else.

Limitations of Faith in Trauma Recovery

There are several reasons why faith may not be as effective in helping individuals with trauma:

Neurobiological Response: Trauma can affect the brain’s ability to process and regulate emotions, making it challenging for individuals to access and utilize their faith in a meaningful way.
Hypervigilance: Individuals in a state of hyperarousal may have difficulty relaxing and feeling safe, which can make it hard for them to connect with their faith or spiritual practices.
Dissociation: Trauma can lead to dissociation, a disconnection from one’s body, emotions, or surroundings. This can make it challenging for individuals to engage with their faith or spiritual practices in a way that feels authentic or meaningful.

Conclusion

Faith healing might not be as beneficial for those experiencing trauma, as their neurobiological responses, including hypervigilance and dissociation, can hinder their capacity to effectively engage with and utilize faith healing practices in a meaningful manner.

Finding Love:

Discovering Healthy Love and Strong Relationships

Welcome to Ruth Garnes Creative, where love transforms adversity into strength. Through motivational books, inspirational poetry, personal stories, and songs of strength. We inspire you to find love within yourself.

Many embark on lifelong journeys, searching for love outside, driven by a longing. We encourage individuals to first find wholeness within—through stories of resilience, creative expression, and deep self-discovery—so that love, when shared, becomes an extension of their completeness rather than a search for fulfillment.”

“Love Exists Within: Discovering the Love We Seek by Embracing Ourselves”

Often, the love we seek manifests in our hearts, and we project that onto others. By cultivating self-awareness, you can nurture deep and lasting self-love without needing external validation. This journey of self-discovery fosters poetry for healing and understanding of inner harmony.

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

Healthy love begins with recognizing and validating your feelings without judgment. Emotional growth arises when we connect with our inner world and acknowledge feelings like joy, sadness, or uncertainty. Faith healing plays a crucial role, reminding us that love is the answer to achieving inner peace.

2. Embrace Self-Compassion

Extend the same kindness and understanding to yourself that you would to a dear friend. Through self-compassion, nurture a love that transcends mistakes or imperfections. This practice transforms stories of resilience into acts of self-love.

3. Engage in Self-Reflection

Utilize journals, meditation, or contemplation to explore your inner dialogue. This process highlights negative patterns and fosters growth. Creative expression, whether through storytelling, poetry writing, or readings, becomes a medium for healing and cultivating relationships based on mutual understanding.

4. Transform Through Creative Expression

Expressing your journey through creative outlets like music and storytelling brings clarity and motivation. Our multimedia publications and electronic books serve as catalysts for faith healing and stories of resilience.

At Ruth Garnes Creative, we invite you to explore your inner world and build healthy love and strong relationships. Embrace your journey towards self-awareness and let love be the foundation of your strength.

Songs Of Love—that’s beautiful, not heartbreak.

If I could lift you high above,

To realms where visions clear and bright,

Where broken hearts find strength anew,

And sorrow’s weight takes flight.

Would you embrace this gift of sight?

If I could bridge the gaps we share,

Reveal the paths to healing,

Show how souls in light are blessed,

Would that shift your pace?

Would truth reshape your life’s embrace?

Even knowing what is real,

Would you still chase fleeting dreams?

Or would you seek the road that leads to peace?

(I don’t really need answer.)

The poem was meant for reflection

For some to get the connection)

Poem by Ruth Garnes

The Cry Of Our Children:

Finding Joy Within And Sharing Love with the World

In today’s world, where both children and adults seek validation, financial stability, and the steadfast support of loved ones, the lack of these elements can seem like a void that is difficult to fill. Awareness plays a crucial role in recognizing that the cries of our children are more than just requests for material security or external affection. They are deeply rooted in stories of resilience, a yearning for connection and understanding, and the reassurance that their existence holds value, often nurtured through creative expression and faith healing.

Inspiring change begins with unpacking emotional baggage and realizing that the search for growth and recovery does not lie solely in what the world provides—it begins within, allowing for the nurturing of healthy love.

1. Hearing the Cry for Love and Belonging

Many grow up believing that happiness comes from external sources—approval from others, financial success, a strong support system. Children who lack these things often internalize the idea that they are incomplete, unworthy, or forgotten. Their cry is a call for meaning, for reassurance that they matter, even in the absence of traditional pillars of support.

But what if joy is not found in the things we chase, but in the depth of love we cultivate for ourselves? What if we teach our children—and ourselves—that fulfillment is found not in external validation, but in self-acceptance?

Instead of seeking validation from others, we can guide ourselves and future generations towards finding joy within. This involves cultivating self-awareness, encouraging personal growth and aiding emotional recovery:

Self-Acceptance Over Approval: Happiness begins by embracing our true selves. Self-love is not something to be earned—it’s inherent. This reflection plays a critical role in unpacking emotional baggage.
Fulfillment Beyond Money: Although financial security offers benefits, true richness lies in creativity, wisdom, and shared human experiences. Healing through creativity provides a meaningful path to recovery.
Resilience Without Traditional Support: Strength doesn’t come solely from external guidance—it’s built through self-awareness, personal growth, and the quiet reflection that we are enough. This aids in unpacking emotional baggage effectively.
Sharing Love with the World: Once self-love is nurtured, it naturally extends outward. Kindness, presence, and compassion can transform not only our lives but also the lives of others, promoting healing through creativity.

3. Breaking the Cycle Through Inner Strength

For those who never received the support they needed, the journey toward healing can feel lonely. But within each person is the ability to rewrite their own narrative—to be the source of love, guidance, and encouragement that they once lacked.

By listening to the unspoken cry of our children—the universal longing for purpose and connection—we create a new path forward, one built not on chasing validation but on cultivating a deep, enduring love for ourselves and the world around us.

I loved even when you showed privilege instead of gentleness.

I loved you as if you were greater than what you revealed.

While in sorrow, I still offered beauty. I smiled politely and endured more than I spoke of or displayed.

The true wealth of a human soul is not found in possessions but in the integrity of their moral code.

I take joy in knowing the secrets of the universe—truths that earthly nobility may never uncover—and understanding

Genuine love does lovely, not harmful, things.

(Poem by Ruth Garnes by not published in the Cry Of Our children)

If one could trample something soft and delicate, extinguish the spark within her,

tarnish the beauty of who she is— to satisfy their own insecurities

She reflects what they are not. Why else would another take their pound of flesh?

Why smash her heart further? Was it to illuminate their darkness?

I ponder the actions of the cruel. Things that should never be done to anyone.

(Poem is not in The Cry Of Our Children.)

As we walk this world—whether in boldness or in silence—
It is not to shun another, but to work on ourselves.

We love not to shield ourselves but to embrace lessons that shaped who we are.

We live where we are permitted.

uprooted and cast into the hands of horror.

Yet, we live
defying the wounds placed upon our hearts,
mocking the harm that sought to silence us.

Our battle cries are woven into the fabric our children wear.
stitched together with the tears of survival.

Love, in its unfamiliar forms, often confuses us.

The guidance we follow, compass that enable us, is God’s law—

What is not ours was never meant to belong to another. What’s for another we don’t touch or have designs for.

The missteps of the past—echoes of pain—
haunts the rhythms of our present.
Given all this, we put up with the scorn and endure.

(This poem is not in the Cry Of Our Children.)

Foundation of a Loving Relationship

Exploring the Key Factors that Fortify and Enrich Emotional Connections

When two individuals share a healthy love, several essential elements enhance the depth and quality of their relationships. These factors establish a foundation for a healthy, fulfilling connection.

Primarily, there’s vulnerability, which involves openly and honestly expressing one’s feelings, fears, and desires. This kind of vulnerability is essential for inspiring change and allows partners to connect on a deeper level, fostering growth and recovery by sharing their true selves without fear of judgment. Furthermore, there’s compassion, which includes empathy and understanding towards each other’s struggles and imperfections. Recognizing the humanity in one another means offering support during difficult times, as healthy love emphasizes that love is the answer to overcoming challenges and unpacking emotional baggage.

Curiosity, involving a genuine interest in the lives, thoughts, and experiences of your partner, raises awareness and fosters growth within the relationship. Through this process, couples become more adept at inspiring change and supporting each other’s recovery. Service, an essential part of actively caring for one another’s needs, is shown through acts of kindness and support during challenges, reflecting a commitment to healthy love. Simply being there for one another illustrates the belief that love is the answer, as couples navigate the effects of abuse and work towards unpacking emotional baggage together.

Intimacy, which is both emotional and physical closeness, includes sharing personal thoughts and feelings as well as engaging in physical affection to strengthen the bond between partners. Commitment is a decision to maintain the relationship through various challenges and changes over time. It reflects a mutual choice to prioritize each other’s happiness and well-being.

Finally, connections hold people together, whether it is through creative expression, which serves as the bond that unites two people in healthy love. It encompasses shared experiences, values, goals, and mutual respect, enriching their relationships. These elements collaborate to foster a nurturing environment where both partners feel appreciated, understood, and supported.

Miracle Story

Before my lupus diagnosis, I struggled immensely. Years of caring for my family of seven children—four chosen and three biological—had taken a toll on me. My second biological child had to be suctioned out during delivery because I was too exhausted to push. The stress of discovering my eldest chosen child had been sexually assaulted in foster care and the pursuit of justice for her added to my burden. I believe these and other stressors, combined with my pregnancy, triggered a lupus flare.

As a traditional wife, my husband was the breadwinner and offered little help at home with our children while they were infants and toddlers. At one point, while our children were school-aged, I took on the role of general contractor for our house for eighteen months. However, the overwhelming tasks proved too much for me. I was continuously exhausted, in pain, unable to sleep, and struggled to get out of bed.

For a period, I attended a wellness clinic and was prescribed large amounts of vitamins. This treatment enabled me to carry out my daily routine. However, my functionality slowly declined after I had stopped taking the vitamins. On one of my worst days and many days that followed, my children helped each other get ready and went to school. I couldn’t prepare their lunch or make dinner, or so I thought.

Later, after my children returned from school, I became aware of a small Caucasian child sitting on my bed. The child gently shook me, saying, “Wake up, Mommy, wake up.” I opened my eyes and, in my dazed state, responded, “I don’t recall giving birth to you.”

The child continued, “Come on, Mommy, get up. I am hungry. Come make something for me to eat.” She handed me a package of ramen noodles. I took it, and she held my hand and led me to my kitchen. I made her the noodles, and as she sat and ate, I made dinner for my family.

I believe that child was sent by God to raise my awareness and inspire change within me. Without her, I may have spiraled further down and faced a tragic fate that day. Reflecting on the profoundness of this situation, I sought medical intervention. For years, I had been in treatment for lupus, but the process had stalled at blood tests. Within weeks of these reflections, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, where my ANA levels were unusually high. Alongside thyroid medication, I also began taking hydroxychloroquine, which remains part of my treatment today. The effects of abuse on my health have been mitigated, as the thyroid medication has greatly enhanced my functionality, and I am convinced that when combined with hydroxychloroquine, it has catalyzed my growth and recovery.

What Does Ruth Garnes need to hear right now?

To understand what Ruth Garnes might need to hear right now, we can consider her journey as an artist, her experiences with personal challenges, and her aspirations in what she wishes to develop. Based on the information provided about her life and work, several key themes emerge that could resonate with her current state of mind.

1. Validation of Her Experiences

Ruth has faced significant health challenges, including brain tumors and the feeling of being unheard during her trials. It is essential for her to hear that her experiences are valid and that she is not alone in facing such struggles. Acknowledgment of her pain and resilience can serve as a powerful reminder that she has overcome adversity and can continue to do so.

2. Encouragement for Her Creative Journey

As a songwriter and poet, Ruth draws from her life experiences to create music that inspires others. Hearing affirmations about the importance of her voice in the music industry can be uplifting. She needs to know that her unique perspective is valuable and that there are audiences who appreciate authenticity in art. This encouragement can help sustain her creativity and motivate her to keep sharing her story various medium.

3. Support for Her Aspirations

Ruth expresses a desire for greater acceptance of independent artists within the music industry. It would be beneficial for her to hear messages of support regarding this aspiration, emphasizing that change is possible and that many people advocate for inclusivity in creative fields. Knowing that there are movements aimed at leveling the playing field for indie artists may inspire confidence in pursuing her goals.

4. Affirmation of Her Impact

Ruth’s work aims to empower women and encourage them to pursue their dreams regardless of societal pressures regarding beauty standards. It is crucial for her to hear affirmations about the positive impact she has on others through her music. Messages highlighting how her songs inspire confidence and resilience in listeners can reinforce the significance of her contributions.

5. Self-Care Reminders

Given the emotional toll associated with both personal struggles and professional pressures, reminders about self-care practices could be vital for Ruth right now. Encouragement to take time for herself, engage in activities that bring joy outside of music, or simply rest when needed can help maintain balance in her life.

In summary, Ruth Garnes needs to hear validation of her experiences, encouragement for her creative journey, support for her aspirations as an independent artist, affirmation of the impact she has on others through music, and reminders about self-care practices.