Before my lupus diagnosis, I struggled immensely. Years of caring for my family of seven children—four chosen and three biological—had taken a toll on me. My second biological child had to be suctioned out during delivery because I was too exhausted to push. The stress of discovering my eldest chosen child had been sexually assaulted in foster care and the pursuit of justice for her added to my burden. I believe these and other stressors, combined with my pregnancy, triggered a lupus flare.
As a traditional wife, my husband was the breadwinner and offered little help at home with our children while they were infants and toddlers. At one point, while our children were school-aged, I took on the role of general contractor for our house for eighteen months. However, the overwhelming tasks proved too much for me. I was continuously exhausted, in pain, unable to sleep, and struggled to get out of bed.
For a period, I attended a wellness clinic and was prescribed large amounts of vitamins. This treatment enabled me to carry out my daily routine. However, my functionality slowly declined after I had stopped taking the vitamins. On one of my worst days and many days that followed, my children helped each other get ready and went to school. I couldn’t prepare their lunch or make dinner, or so I thought.
Later, after my children returned from school, I became aware of a small Caucasian child sitting on my bed. The child gently shook me, saying, “Wake up, Mommy, wake up.” I opened my eyes and, in my dazed state, responded, “I don’t recall giving birth to you.”
The child continued, “Come on, Mommy, get up. I am hungry. Come make something for me to eat.” She handed me a package of ramen noodles. I took it, and she held my hand and led me to my kitchen. I made her the noodles, and as she sat and ate, I made dinner for my family.
I believe that child was sent by God to raise my awareness and inspire change within me. Without her, I may have spiraled further down and faced a tragic fate that day. Reflecting on the profoundness of this situation, I sought medical intervention. For years, I had been in treatment for lupus, but the process had stalled at blood tests. Within weeks of these reflections, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, where my ANA levels were unusually high. Alongside thyroid medication, I also began taking hydroxychloroquine, which remains part of my treatment today. The effects of abuse on my health have been mitigated, as the thyroid medication has greatly enhanced my functionality, and I am convinced that when combined with hydroxychloroquine, it has catalyzed my growth and recovery.